


the scars we share

by mxbeetle



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora Needs Therapy (She-Ra), Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra Needs Therapy (She-Ra), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Forehead Touching, Panic Attacks, Scars, again the angst is small cause i can't handle that shit, also, everyone in that show needs therapy tbh, it's a small one but it's there, it's what happens when you have teenagers fighting in a war, this is a purely indulgent fic but idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxbeetle/pseuds/mxbeetle
Summary: “Your back,” she started, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s covered in scars.”Adora paled, realizing where this was heading.“Scars made byme.”-----in their bedroom after the war, catra and adora have some time to think.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 57





	the scars we share

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this wip in my docs since s5 came out so i think it's finally time to post. enjoy some short lesbian hurt/comfort :)

Time stood still, and Catra wasn’t quite fond of it.

In the Horde, time was always moving. Just like everything else in that damn wasteland, nothing was ever stagnant. There was always the uniform sound of boots marching down halls, the clanks and hisses from cobbled together machinery that was just on the brink of falling apart, the snores and rustling of cadets in the barracks. To hear absolute silence—to be able to let out a breath in peace—was almost disturbing.

Yet here Catra was, idling by the open doorway to Adora’s bedroom in Bright Moon, watching Adora remove the brown belt with the gold wing buckle strapped around her waist. Turning, Adora saw Catra still standing awkwardly by the door.

“Catra? Are you coming inside?” she asked, a mix of both confusion and amusement. She had a playful smile on her lips, but that just about disappeared when Catra averted her gaze.

Dropping the belt on the floor, Adora walked forward and took both of Catra’s hands in her own, guiding her gently away from the door and to the bed. The door shut closed quietly behind them as they both sat down, one of Adora’s hands still loosely holding Catra’s.

In the midst of their win against Horde Prime and the return of magic to Etheria, Catra and Adora hardly had any time to talk about what happened in the Heart. Don’t mistake, there were _many_ knowing looks shared between the members of the Princess Alliance, and more than enough teasing from Bow and Glimmer that both Catra and Adora knew would never end, yet the two never actually found a moment to sit down and talk about what happened—or what it meant.

Catra didn’t know what to assume (she was hoping for good things), yet when they arrived back at Bright Moon and Adora showed Catra to her bedroom to sleep, Catra assumed they were good.

“I’m fine, Adora,” she said, ears turned back and tail curled protectively around her waist.

Adora squeezed their hands. “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” she said, then smiled softly. Catra’s heart slowly cracked.

“This place—it’s weird. So… _princessy_. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much pink and purple in one room.”

Adora laughed, and it was a sound that Catra gladly welcomed. Somehow, it made everything around her less lonely, and if she could bottle it up and save it for more of these quieter, time-stopping moments, she would.

When the laughter left her, in a quiet tone, Adora said, “That’s not it, though, is it?” 

Catra was snapped back to the present.

She sighed, her tail swishing slightly back and forth. “It’s the silence. You remember the Horde—nothing was silent. And now… it’s _deafening_.”

“The silence can be lonely,” Adora admitted. “When I left the Fright Zone, it took me a while to adjust. But you’re not alone like I was. I’m here. In my experience, it’s much better to have someone to share the pain with, if only just a little bit.”

The corner of Catra’s mouth turned upward only slightly, but even that was using as much energy as she could muster. A large yawn escaped her mouth, her eyes blinking slowly.

Adora dropped her hand from Catra’s. “C’mon, let’s get ready for bed. Hopefully, we can try and sleep tonight.”

Catra nodded and looked away as Adora stood up, removing her red jacket and placing it folded (with the discarded belt) on a cushion. Although there was never much privacy in the Horde and Catra had seen Adora change for bed before, it suddenly felt different. In this setting, in a fuchsia tinted bedroom in the heart of Bright Moon Castle, watching each other change felt too _intimate_ for Catra. So, she averted her eyes and relied on her ears for any sign that it was safe to turn around.

Yet then Adora was removing that old, stupid white Horde shirt that for reasons unbeknownst to anyone she had kept, and Catra stole a quick glance. When her eyes landed on Adora, her heart practically fell out of her chest, and she gasped.

On the fair skin of Adora’s back were tiny scratches, probably left over from practice skirmishes or the times she had to fight without She-Ra. However, that wasn’t quite what caused Catra’s heart to plummet to her feet. There, amidst the myriad of tiny cuts and scrapes, were long, jagged, pale claw marks slashed down her back.

Claw marks made by _her_.

Catra couldn’t look away; it was like watching a car crash in real-time. Her heart somersaulted back into her chest as it pounded furiously against her ribcage, her throat feeling as if it was starting to close. Time was moving too fast now, too fast for Catra to process. The silence was getting louder, closing in like a freight train barreling straight at her while being tied to the tracks.

Adora turned at the sound of Catra’s gasp to see the cat holding a hand to her chest, clutching at the fabric of her shirt desperately. Not caring that she was only really wearing the fabric used to secure her chest and not a shirt anymore, Adora rushed to her side.

“Catra? Catra, what’s wrong?”

The act of moving her tongue to form words seemed physically impossible. “The… the scars. The scars. It was m… it was me. I...I…I…”

Adora reached for Catra’s shoulders and squeezed them tightly, bending her head to look into Catra’s panicked eyes: her pupils were dilated in fear, her ears back and flat against her head.

“Catra? Catra, please, breathe. _Breathe_ , OK? Can you do that for me? Inhale, then exhale.”

It took one deep breath, then another, and slowly Catra’s breaths came less in hurried puffs and more methodical. Her hands groped blindly for something, _anything_ to latch onto, and they found Adora’s forearms. Adora nodded along as Catra followed her instructions. “Yes, that’s good. Inhale, then exhale. That’s great, Catra.”

Time was slowing as Catra breathed and Adora guided her. Soon, the only sounds in the room came from Catra’s labored breathing and the soft, gentle voice of Adora.

Adora’s first priority was helping Catra, but the reason for Catra’s panic attack left Adora at a loss. She didn’t want to pressure her too soon and risk causing her to panic once more, but she also didn’t want to leave whatever just happened out in the open at the chance that something could set Catra off. For the moment, however, Adora resigned herself to staying in the present.

She focused on Catra’s breathing, on the way her heart was starting to return back to its regular rhythm, on how Catra’s claws dug into Adora’s forearms: not painful, but enough to make sure that Adora wasn’t going to go anywhere. And she wasn’t. She was going to stay right there, as long as Catra needed her.

The minute Catra followed her into the Heart, Adora knew that there could be nothing that would cause her to leave Catra again.

When Catra let out a final puff of exhaustive breathing did they pull apart and Adora was able to get a good look at her. She seemed harried, haunted—like she saw something that reminded her of a traumatizing memory. With hesitance dripping from her lips, Adora asked, “What happened?”

Catra didn’t look at her, didn’t say anything at first, and Adora didn’t push her.

“Your back,” she started, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s covered in scars.”

Adora paled, realizing where this was heading.

“Scars made by _me_.”

In all honesty, Adora had forgotten they were there. Only when she bathed or was wrapping her chest did she remember as her fingers brushed over the slightly raised scar tissue. Since they were on her back and generally out-of-sight, the scars were easy to forget and were hardly a hindrance to her life.

For Catra, however, who could see the scars clearly anytime Adora had her back bared, they were a constant reminder of a pained time in her life— _their_ lives. Those scars weren’t just a hindrance to Catra, but a curse.

“Listen, Catra, I don’t care. It’s all in the past. You don’t have to say sorry.”

“Why not?” Catra bolted up, her words getting caught in her throat, her eyes beginning to burn. “Why shouldn’t I? I marked your back like a scratching post and I’m just supposed to pretend it didn’t happen?”

“That’s… that’s not what I meant. It’s just that I’m alright now, and it’s really no big deal—”

“Yes. It’s not a big deal. To _you_. To me, it’s a mockery. It’s like a looking glass that reflects all the pain and torture and evil parts of my life I’d rather forget. So don’t tell me I don’t have to say sorry, because I am. I’m sorry, Adora. I’m really fucking sorry.”

One tear fell, then two, and suddenly Catra was standing in She-Ra’s bedroom in Bright Moon crying. Adora stood, took one step, then two, and gingerly held out her arms. She waited for rejection, waited for Catra to push her away, but when she didn’t, Adora stepped forward once more and wrapped her arms around the cat.

Adora’s strong arms cradled Catra in a way she felt she didn’t deserve. It was safe, it was warm, and it radiated a kind of love Catra had only ever dreamed of receiving. With her hands tucked into Adora’s chest and her head buried into Adora’s shoulder, Catra sobbed. She cried and cried some more, and when she spoke, her words came out muffled.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you. For the pain I’ve inflicted. For every bad thing in your life that I’ve caused. I’ve hurt you and everyone around you and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. I’m sorry for it all.”

Adora listened, letting Catra’s tears trail down her skin as she rubbed circles into Catra’s back.

“I’m sorry, too, Catra. I should’ve never abandoned you. I should’ve fought harder for you, showed that I cared for you more than I did.”

She paused. It wasn’t a big declaration; they’d already said it once before in the Heart. Yet this time was different, more reassuring and thoughtful. Adora pressed a soft kiss to the top of Catra’s head, warming at the sound of Catra’s low, contented purr. “I love you, Catra.”

“I love you too, Adora.”

Their words hung in the air like a promise, stringing them together. In each other’s arms, cradled by the embrace of the other, time didn’t exist, and why would it? Why ruin such a beautiful, perfect moment with the frightening notion of time slowly taking it all away? So, they chose to ignore the clock ticking away the future and lived in the present, savoring the other’s company.

When they pulled apart, emotions wrung raw, they settled back onto the bed. Catra eyed Adora warily, and somehow, Adora knew what she was thinking.

“Do you want to see them again?”

Catra averted her gaze, ears flattening against the back of her head. She was terrified to see them again, in all honesty. Terrified of the memories that may surface like a horror movie, replaying in her head if she dared touch them. But Catra loved Adora, and she wanted to stay with her. _Heal_ with her.

This seems to be as good a first step as any.

Wordlessly, Catra nodded, and Adora watched her for a moment, examining the cat’s expressions for any sign that this was way out of her comfort zone. When Catra’s eyes met Adora’s and Catra nodded again did Adora finally turn around, baring her back to the world.

Catra sucked in a breath but continued to breathe slowly and carefully. _Inhale, exhale_.

“May I?” she asked, and Adora nodded.

She reached out a hand. _Inhale, exhale_. Her claw hit skin first, then the pads of her fingers. _Inhale, exhale_. They ghosted over the white scar tissue, feeling how surprisingly soft it was. It seemed raw, yet not in the way that a cut first feels before it scars. It was raw with life, a heartbeat pounding under each gash of skin. Catra’s hand trailed the scar from below Adora’s shoulder to her lower mid-back.

 _Inhale, exhale_.

Adora turned her head slightly, a few strands of blonde hair trailing from over her shoulder to her back. “Are you okay?”

Catra nodded numbly. Then, realizing Adora couldn’t really see her, managed a breathless, “Yeah.”

When she had reached the end of the first scar mark, Catra pulled her hand back. There were four in total, jagged and stark against Adora’s back, yet Catra didn’t want to push her luck. The room was already suffocating, what with the unfamiliarity of it all, and she quite liked breathing every now and then.

“I’m done.”

The act of tracing the scar had only taken maybe thirty seconds—a minute, tops, but to Catra, it felt like hours. Her mind was working through a sluggish haze that only Bright Moon Castle could bring on, and the words she spoke sounded miles away. When Adora turned around, the cat was more than relieved to see Adora’s face—the bright blue eyes, the golden blonde hair—no matter how concerned it was on her behalf.

“How do you feel?” Adora asked carefully.

Catra considered her emotions—not something she was used to doing, if she was being honest. “Honestly? Like a weight that’s sitting on my chest has been slightly lifted.” She sighed, letting slip a small sardonic laugh. “I’ve done some terrible things.”

Catra looks up into Adora’s eyes and sees nothing but compassion. The silence that met her wasn’t unkind.

“I should probably face them,” she said. “Y’know… healing and all that.”

Adora’s face softened into a small smile. Taking both of Catra’s hands in her own, she rubbed small circles over the tops of the cat’s hands.

“I think that’s a great place to start.”

Leaning forward, she pressed a small kiss to the center of Catra’s eyebrows, and for the first time since Catra had entered the silent, pink-and-purple Bright Moon bedroom, she felt at peace. Happy, even, if one could believe it.

“And you know something else?” Adora added, a slight, pleasant humming to her words.

Catra eyed her cautiously, tail flicking between them. “What?”

“I have some healing to do, as well. How about we both start healing together?”

Catra immediately softened, ears drooping in content. She sighed, yet it wasn’t of fear, but of love. Resting her forehead against Adora’s, Catra decided she’ll never get tired of staring into Adora’s blue eyes and seeing the same love reflected in her own heart.

With her forehead resting against the soft skin of Adora’s, Catra wasn’t sure how to process the content feeling blossoming in her stomach. To compact that, the room has turned silent once more, yet it was a peaceful silence, punctuated only by the soft, rhythmic beating of two hearts as one. The moment they lived in was one of honey and sunshine, dripping with a calm tranquility Catra didn’t fully understand until now.

Time stood still, but Catra didn’t mind so much.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “Together.”

**Author's Note:**

> catradora canon queens <3


End file.
